Unexpected Change of my Marital Status.

The Global recession of 2008-2009 had its impact in India and my son Jyothi was also reflected by it.  He had to  had to relocate  to Ernakulam for a new job.  Darsana, my daughter in law, also got employed  at Ernakulam.  We both were at our new house at Vattapara, 15 kms away from Trivandrum City.  We moved out from  Kadakkal  our home town during 2010.  My husband had two heart attacks during 2009 and 2010.  Jyothi wanted us to stay closer to Trivandrum,  in a  place where in a emergency ambulance could come immediately.  We started living in the new place  and life moved on.  An Auyurveda Hospital, temple and a library was close to this house and hence we had no second thoghts to buy that house.   Jyothi would visit us once or twice a month when he came for official visits  to Trivandrum. Both of them together did visit us once in a quarter or as an when required.   

Jyothi and Darsana  visited us during August  2013 for three days. They bought a new  car. Both of them came  here for Onam, the Harvest festival of Kerala. We all had a great time.  We  made a great Ona Sadhya ( Feast during Onam) snapped photographs then went  to  Kadakkal  our home town.  We met my younger brothers and my  'Kochachan' (paternal uncle)   Sreedharan who was ill.  He was a nonagenarian and  was a Naatuvaidhyan (  Auyerveda Physician in Malayalam).  He was an extra ordinary personality. A jack of all trades.  He could do any mechanical job, well versed in Sanskrit, had profound knowledge about Upanishads ,Vedas, Music, Carpentry,medical science and so on.  He could disguise a kidney renal failure by looking at a person’s face. A personality with  a very beautiful handwriting too. He was a genius but not known to the world.

           On  27th Oct 2013 my younger brother calls me on the phone. He said " Kochachan " passed away.  He struggled a lot during his last days.  We  both go to Kadakkal which is 40 Kms away from our place.  We stay there overnight  at my brothers house.  We  came back the next day. The funeral rites were decided  to be done on 31^st Oct 2013.  Jyothi was at Delhi and could not  turn up  for the funeral. He  was at  Delhi for an official assignment and would be back on 29th Oct.  He asked if both of us had all medicines along with us.  Jyothi's was very apprehensive about his father's health as he had two Heart Attacks.

   

      We came back after the funeral and  everything was as usual.  It was a Wednesday, 30th Oct 2013.  Next day was my uncle' Funeral Rites.  Usually its done after 5 days of death.   Jyothi's father didn't  write his diary after 27th Oct.  Some days he skips it.  Unusually I felt like reading his diary.    I did  it for the first time in life along with him that day. This was what he scribbled at last.  " We need to go to Kadakkal on Thursday. Need to perform the funeral rites for the great man who was a genius and a chronic bachelor.  Need to plant a coconut tree in his grave.   Need to go to Papanasam and immerse his remains.  Hence a Life ends "  .  

He spoke  with  Darsana on the phone for about half an hour on 30th October at around 8 PM.  They talked  lot of things. They spoke for a long time.   Jyothi spoke to  him during his lunch hours from his office.   He  could not speak much as he was held up in a training session.  He was a Training Head for a  Dimensional Media Company.  He had the role of transforming the  organisation to digital. 

      Next day we woke up early at 4:30 AM as the function was between 7:30 AM and 8:00 AM.    Jyothi's father made hot water for both of us to bath.  He boiled drinking water in a large pot.  Both of us use boiled water for  drinking.  I was wondering why do we need a large pot of water to be boiled  as we are not going to be in the house.  He helped me to make a quick breakfast.  The time was close to 4:45  AM.  I had a shower then he took his turn to bath.  After bathing he had his regular morning prayer.  I dressed up  in a cotton saree and was getting ready to move.  I opened my Sindoor box and was going to apply Sindoor ( Kumkum)  on my forehead where  my hair parts.  (Applying Sindhoor in the Indian tradition   indicates a woman is married and usually she wears it till widowhood.)  Suddenly I feel something unusual.

      I left the Sindhoor box open on the table  near the phone and moved to the drawing room.  I see my man collapsed towards the sofa set, near by the altar.  I  grab him and start pumping on his chest and try to give a CPR in the way I know it.  I have seen Doctors doing it ,when I was at Bhutan  as a teacher, during first aid sessions to students,  as well as in  TV shows.  I tried to pump his chest to make sure the hear is still beating. I was crying and  yelled  for help.  Suddenly Rajesh a boy in our neighborhood jumped our compound wall and barged in.  We had more people rushing in as my cry was so loud enough to wake the neighbors  early in the  morning.   Rajesh, Mohan  and  other neighbours took charge of scene.  Some one called 108 the Kerala Emergency Medical Project Team and guided them the fastest route.  Mohan and Rajesh  was checking his pulse but did not mention anything to me.  Rajesh tries to give water to my husband.  He drank a sip of water,  says Rajesh.  I tried to close his eyes.  Meanwhile I try to call Jyothi who is  at Ernakulam which is 200 kilometers away.  I call him multiple times and finally he responds the call. He was in sound sleep.  I said with a trembling voice “Achan ( Father)  has collapsed during his morning prayer. Please come immediately”.  I told him we have intimated 108 and they would arrive shortly.  I asked him which hospital should we take?   He said , move to any hospital based on the 108 teams advice.  He told,  Achan's  life is in their hands and lets trust them.  They both agreed to  start immediately. 

Within no time the 108 emergency Medical team arrived. By that time the entire neighbors were there.  The team  rushed in with a Heart Revival Machine and ECG device and get into action.  They try to revive his heart . They were trying their best but the ECG graph remained straight.  I could understand things are  moving in the odd direction.  I became standstill, unable to utter anything. I went near the phone to speak with Jyothi once again.  With trembling hands I try to pick the receiver. I am unable to  dial his number.  I see the Sindhoor box  which I left open near the phone. I close it. Its of no use to me henceforth.  My 39 years of married life is history. The  last line in his diary, "Hence a Life ends "  became a reality.  God might have liked him so much and summoned him straight away after his morning prayers.

Should gadgets control our Children?

 Information Technology  has taken us to new heights.  It has revived our old friends, helped us  fetch new jobs, enhance  learning, keep updated and so on.  But have we thought how this impacts our children.  We give them devices and relax ourselves.  Technology has changed a lot and  we are forced to be dependent on it. We engage  our young ones to use it.   Too much to learn for children in the curriculum and less time to play. They hardly get time to look beyond  the books and get glued  to electronic devices at a tender age.  Lullaby songs, Aps, Games  are available in Smart Phones or other devices.   The child falls in love with it in no time.  This is a vent  for the parent who is indulged in his  modern work schedule. Parents claim their  child is brilliant and can unlock my android phone  and operate You Tube at the age of 3.  Children get fascinated to devices as  parents find less time to spend with them.  Incase the parents spent time the kids, they see their peers at  school and  the neighborhood  with devices and  pester their parents get one for them.  Cartoon channels steal the show in the house where there are kids.  They make the kid focused to it. Kids eat food while watching cartoons.  Their mind is captivated by the cartoon characters.   Fast Moving Consumer Goods (FMCG) companies use this prime time to advertise chocolates and other  junk  processed food.  This educates the kid  about all processed food available in the market.  They are advertised  to capture minds of young kids.  All processed food brands are known to kids and they force parents to buy it for them. This remains a reality in urban and rural areas.  

Parents are in a spotlight syndrome, trying to get their kids one step ahead of the ones in the neighborhood.  Hectic routine of parents force kids into technology which drives a big psychological hazard.  A smart phone with kids may provide entertainment and a temporary relief to parents. The affection of the kids  towards the parents gets affected.  They get attracted to the characters in the Aps or TV Channel. Parents who are stressed out find it easy to hand a phone to young ones with aps while they can relax.  This hampers the child's psychology. " Pokemon, Spiderman" and all other comic characters have replaced old grandma's tales.  Adults have paved ways for little ones to interpret these characters. 

When the child grows up he is not exposed to outdoor games. Games  played by older generation  are now played with hand held devices.   Parents want their  children to get educated in the best school.  Here  s/he is pressurized in a small age.  Junk food, modern life style, lack of physical exercise and less attention from parents leads to anger, impatience, obesity, eye sight problems and other psychological disorders.  The choice is left to us, to retain or  keep away  electronic devices from our dear ones.  You might find it hard but its the need of the hour.